Thursday, December 31, 2009

Hendricks Holiday Letter 2009: Standard Edition

As another year draws to a close, we here at Team Hendricks are proud to say, we made it! Markets have melted, Gosselins have separated, Tigers have cheated, and Kardashians have Kardashed, but through it all, our family has kept it together. Every year brings new challenges (1), but the one constant continues to be love(2) . Here was the year in review over here at Team Hendricks.

Hendricks Family General Report

Status: More stable than the American economy.

Noteworthy events: This year was great. First, we must report that no additional members were drafted, recruited, signed as free agents, or birthed into Team Hendricks. We have continued to roll four strong, which we find gives us enough hustle and bustle to keep our house noisy and free of troublesome peace and quiet, but keeps us light and agile enough to quickly deploy to most family events/spec ops missions. We did our usual late summer whirlwind tour which encompassed Girls camp for Rochelle, a trip to Idaho to visit Grandma and Grandpa Mathews, brief visits to our Utah friends, and was capped with our San Diego Bouck reunion excursion. This year we had the additional excitement of being rear ended by a 57 year old repairman hopped up on goof balls on the way out of town towards California. It was a fortuitous(3) happenstance that his insurance agent also happened to be our Sunday school teacher. Needless to say, the satisfaction of seeing North Las Vegas’ finest haul his booty away, was only dwarfed by the speed and efficiency of the insurance company, which made sure our Family Assault Vehicle(4) was repaired in a timely manner. This made for a great story at the reunion too!

Alora: The Destructor

Status: Voted most likely to break gender barrier in NFL by her preschool class.

Annual highlights: Alora, as the toughest and surliest member of Team Hendricks, continues to astound us with both her love of princesses and ability to give cold blooded staredowns. One of the highlights for her this year was the fact that she no longer sleeps on a mattress on the floor, but an actual little girl bed. Unfortunately, her elevation from the floor has been accompanied with a sense of elevated authority status as well. I’m pretty sure that in her mind, her current rank in Team Hendricks is “Grand High Commander of all things and everyone, everywhere. Period.” To hear me say it, you’d think she’d be a shoo-in for the leader of the tom boy brigade, but the funniest thing about her is her complete and total girliness. The only color that exists in her world is pink, and everywhere she goes she must have at least 1 princess in each grubby little fist. She started pre-school this year with the incomparable Miss Tate, and is getting great at her letters and numbers. Having her read one of her color books is a rare treat and not to be missed. Eventually, we will get her to pay even closer attention to Ms. Tate and not go on commando candy raids during class time. True story.

Steve, circa 1983 (a.k.a. James)

Status: Flippin’ smart. Smarter than I ever was, smarter than I ever will be.

Annual highlights: It will take every ounce of strength not to go overkill on bragging up James, so I’ll just say that James is doing really well in Kindergarten. He loves it. I don’t know what it is(5) , but he has taken to Kindergarten like Tiger Woods takes to a new girlfriend(6) . How much does he love it? He was asked to be a special helper in a special needs class in the afternoons Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and he even liked that! When people ask me what my retirement plan is, I just turn and pat little James on the head. You’d think that he was bookish, but unless you had seen him read his own talk in Primary this year, you’d think he had ADD and the only thing we hydrated him with was Red Bull. James’ newest love is rollerblading, which we do every once in a while at Crystal Palace here in Vegas(7) which has given me the chance to take on a new persona as “creepy old guy at the skating rink”.

Rochelle, code named: “The Glue”

Status: As hot as ever!

Annual highlights: Rochelle still foolishly pursues righteousness and spirituality, and therefore keeps getting roped into challenging callings(8) . She continues to serve in the Young Women’s presidency over those little Beehives and loves it. Fortunately, she didn’t have to weather the extreme flooding of last year’s excursion(9) . Rochelle keeps herself busy with singing in assorted church groups, carpools, and somehow, some way, she continues to make new friends in the ward through volleyball and assorted(10) girls’ night out excursions. What am I most proud of with Rochelle? That she attended two midnight showings of movies this year, which is exactly one more than I did. That’s correct, for one moment in time, Rochelle is a bigger geek than me(11) .

Steve, circa 2009 (a.k.a. Puppet Figurehead Authority)

Status: Hair is still white.

Annual highlights: I won’t bother you with the minutiae of my life. Suffice it to say, I have never been happier personally or professionally(12) . I am at the same school for the second consecutive year and somehow I conned someone into making me Department Chair. I’m loving making Spanish grammar raps for my students and indulging in general silliness. This year I had a student teacher for the first time, and I loved the experience. Who wouldn’t love telling someone how to teach, then hiding in a back room so that their student teacher can get “experience”.

Conclusion: The other day, James and Alora were playing together with their toys. Alora’s toy says to James’ toy “Will you come to my party Optimus Prime?” James’ toy says back “No Ariel, I have to go to work.” That sums up life for us. Here’s hoping you and yours have such joy.

1) The paparazzi finds new ways to record our family’s inner workings. Darn you to HECK TMZ!!!

2) Of Tylenol PM! Ah, sweet, sweet slumber…

3) Fortuitous - happening or produced by chance; accidental: a fortuitous encounter.

4) A.K.A. Toyota Sienna.

5) I’m going to say it’s my insistence that James plays video games and watches lots of TV.

6) Too soon?

7) Which continues to be the skate of the art

8) SUCKER!!!!!!

9) Only the extreme estrogen of this year’s!

10) And sordid…

11) False, I dressed up as Luke Skywalker from Return of the Jedi when I went to see Episode III. She will never outgeek that.

12) Which means you should buckle up for next years installment “How my perfect life fell apart”

1 comment:

  1. Steve, you rock. Your family sounds marvelously crazy, and I wish we lived in the same town so that my princess ninja and my hyper kindergartener could play with yours.